As the More is More Mom®, I’m all about……more clean laundry that never gets put away! One of the many exciting and glamorous duties of being a homemaker is, of course, maintaining the inventory of clothing items for each individual member of the family. Not only keeping track of the clothes, but keeping them clean. You know my mantra is more of everything is always better, though perhaps not when it comes to more laundry! Hmm, I suppose this could all be my fault.
First of all, I purchase each and every article of clothing that crosses the threshold into our home.
Second, I am a ridiculous hoarder of all things so everyone has an insane amount of everything….underwear and socks (socks for every occasion; short sports socks, knee socks for Amanda’s school uniform, tall tube socks for Nick for hockey, dress socks for all, and fun whimsical socks in a rainbow of colors, some with stripes, argyles, holiday themes and other fun patterns); undershirts for the boys and tanks tops for the girls; workout shirts, sweatshirts, shorts and sweat pants, baseball hats for working out (mostly sporting the Cub’s logo) and baseball hats to wear when you’re not all sweaty and gross (again, mostly with Cub’s emblems, I do like for us to show our team spirit); leotards for Amanda; dozens of Under Armor shirts for Nick for hockey; pajama’s….I love pajama’s (I mean who doesn’t like to snuggle up in a cozy pair, or fourteen pairs, of pj’s?); casual t-shirts with funny sayings……I love funny sayings for Nick, such as “Your Mom Does My Homework”, “WWGD…..What Would Gretzky Do?”, my favorite “I can see your five hole” (a hockey term for between the goalies legs, but it sounds so naughty!) and “Chicago Cub’s, World Series Champion’s”, oh, wait a minute, we don’t have one that says that); numerous pairs of blue jeans, which all get ironed, for each person (Chuck wears business attire by day, and my pals wear a school uniform, no real need for 4 pairs of jeans a piece); dress slacks and shorts; casual slacks and shorts; skirts and dresses for the girls, running the gambit of formality; polo shirts; dress shirts; sweaters, pullovers and cardigans; everything in every imaginable color. Don’t get me started on accessories, outerwear and footwear. Clearly with me, the lists just keep on going, and going, and going, and going. I’m like the Energizer Bunny of laundry!
Third, I do all of the laundry myself in this house. I realize this is a huge mistake, but if I allowed for these people (meaning the children) to help I would wait for the rest of my life for it to get tackled. The mounds of dirty clothes would pile up to the ceiling, and then you’d have to call me out on Oprah for my hoarding issues. So you see it really is just a matter of self preservation that I do all the laundry myself. It’s that, or it is just a vicious cycle of managing my over purchasing. Oh well. I suppose Freud will have to figure that out on another day.
The only thing that I ask of my people is that they bring their laundry baskets full of clean clothes up to their bedrooms and put them away. That does seem like a fairly modest request. Sometimes, however, even that is apparently too much to ask, so I schluck the baskets, carefully balancing the neatly folded items that are piled two feet higher than the baskets rim, up the stairs, down the hall and into their respective bedrooms. Once the baskets have been sitting on the floor for several days, rifled through because the children can’t be bothered with actually removing their clothing from the basket, opening the drawers and closet, and putting their belongings away, I go totally berserk! On principle (ha, ha, ha…who is the one that is trained here? Much like dealing with the dog…it’s ME!), and because I need the basket back to start filling it up with the newly washed and neatly folded items, I empty the contents of the basket onto their beds. You see, I show them (by sorting through the basket and arranging the piles by category…not only am I a hoarder, but I am also completely OCD). Now they have to put away their clothes or they won’t be able to sleep in their beds! Or will they………
At six o’clock in morning I went to wake Sir Nichols up for school, as I do every morning (he has absolutely no interest in waking up to an alarm clock (and why would he?), so each morning starts out with me dragging him out of bed, yelling and screaming……Good Morning! Rise and Shine!). As I entered his bedroom, I discovered that his lack of interest and complete disregard for any sort of neatness or order had reached a new low. It would appear that when he went to bed, this kid actually pulled back the covers and climbed into bed, amidst the piles of clean and neatly stacked clothing and the empty hangers from his uniform that he had flung onto the bed as he was getting ready for school the previous morning. Study guides, textbooks and spirals had fallen on to the floor. Well, at least he was studying, which is a good thing. Maybe someday he will be able to afford a live in maid…….unless he plans on keeping the one he already has by living here forever. Once again it sure looks like I taught these kids a valuable lesson….leave it for Mom!
More dirty clothes, more washing, more drying, more folding, more waiting for it all to get put away….